WIAW- feeling nervous

Hello all. This week I remembered to take photos yesterday (Tuesday) and this morning I had my hospital appointment, so I spent all of yesterday (and all last night) feeling very nervous. More on that later- onto the food.

Breakfast:

Muesli, apple, oat milk.

Plus mint tea.

Lunch:

Tomato soup, ryvita chilli crackers, caramelised onion hummus, clementines.

Afternoon warm-up:

Rooibos tea from Storm teas.

I had a little walk in the afternoon, then made some more mexican casserole for dinner.

Dinner:

Mexican casserole topped with cheese, rocket, mashed avocado with lemon juice and some salsa.

Dessert:

Some mandarin and ginger tea (yum) and a mint slice.

I made these on Monday as Andy’s family were coming around to watch the football. They are from Sweet Vegan (the recipe on the front cover- look here ) and they are amazing! Basically a brownie base, topped with a minty filling and then topped with melted chocolate.

Covering the brownie in the mint filling. I was very impressed with how the brownie turned out- not sure if I have ever made vegan brownies before (I had no eggs so had to make a vegan recipe) but the brownies were still moist and very rich and I think would be lovely on their own.

Then covered in melted chocolate (it was meant to be dark chocolate but I had none!).

Plus I got to use my cake stand 🙂 The recipe made loads so we sent his parents and brother home with a tub each too! It was very popular and I would make it again for sure- I love mint and chocolate together.

If you fancy having a peep at other people’s food, then be sure to check out Jenn’s blog.

So onto my hospital appointment. I was very nervous (I get very nervous before any appointments and have had to have my blood pressure monitored several times because it gets so high when I go to the doctors) and somehow convinced myself I would be having more of the horrible examinations- plus Andy was going to work from home and take me, but he had to go in for a meeting so I had to drive myself (which is fine) -finding where the parking was just added to my general panic. I did not even have breakfast before I went- just a mint tea as I was feeling very nervous indeed, so I packed a clif bar but never ended up having it. Anyway, my appointment was for 8.30am, with the consultant. I got there with time to spare but it turned out the consultant was not there, and they could not get hold of him either. Blah blah in the end after waiting ages I saw a different doctor/ registrar (I really am not sure what the titles mean), as well as a nurse. At least I am on the waiting list now (no date yet), but the bad news is that they will probably not be able to do the keyhole surgery as the cyst is just too big. They will try (and I have signed to say that is OK) but he thought it more than likely that I would need the open surgery. Pants. I only just got back to my car before the 2 hour pay and display limit ran out (seriously- why on earth do hospitals still have pay and display???) and I did feel very teary (I think a combination of the nervous energy, being hungry, having to sign forms about possibly needing blood transfusions and my general panic about the thought of being cut open). But I just have to get on with it. I came home (and suddenly felt really hungry) so made some pancakes as it was brunch time, and chatted to Andy on the phone which made me feel much better. Thanks for all your comments too- they of course make me feel better, and don’t worry, I am not getting down- I just want to be back to normal.
How are you with things like doctors appointments? I just get so nervous, even if they are just routine appointments, and I don’t really know why. 

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15 thoughts on “WIAW- feeling nervous”

  1. Oh petal I can really relate, I had a hospital appointment last week and was exactly the same, as soon as I got home I was ravenous, I think from the nervous energy and stress. I parked away from the hospital, I bloody hate the way they charge! I hope that you get a date sooner rather than later as the waiting must be a nightmare, take care xxx

  2. i hope that you returned home to cuddle with andy after such a stressful hospital experience! i hate doctors because after successfully deceiving them for so long, i think they’re worthless. xxx

  3. Oh, I’m so sorry 🙁 It sounds like such a distressing experience and it’s absolutely disgraceful that hospitals charge for parking. I’ve ended up cycling to appointments (routine ones, not when in the kind of pain you’re having to endure!) to avoid the charges. Talk about rubbing salt into the wound, as it were. It’s awful that you were so shaken up and I know it must have been really serious as you are generally such a calm and stoical person. I’m not surprised at all that you’d be shaken up, as I remember the kind of tests and examinations I had to go through only too well…and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone *hugs*.

    I’m generally okay with doctors and even operations to an extent, but that’s only because I’m generally not bothered about being alive or not (I know it sounds terrible to say but I couldn’t think of how else to put it – I go crazy over the ‘small stuff’ but I remember being kind of resigned to it when I had to have surgery. That said, mine was an emergency procedure so I didn’t have so long to wait and for the anxiety to build up).

    I wish I could have my Mum down there on your behalf to sort those docs out and get you an operation ASAP. Stupid NHS – they’d have done the same to me if it wasn’t for my age, the fact that the cyst was the size of a damn melon, the panicking Ultrasound guy and my Mum literally refusing to leave the hospital without a date!

    Don’t give up on the idea they might be able to do keyhole surgery – a decent surgeon really should be able to drain the cyst and then extract what’s left. Most of them are fluid-based (mine had a central tumour, but it was small enough to get out via keyhole) and even though I had both fallopian tubes removed too, as well as 1.75 ovaries (yeah, precise), the guy still managed to do all of that via keyhole. It does depend on the percentage that is fluid, but I’ll keep everything crossed that they can do keyhole surgery for you.

    <3

    xxxx

  4. It sucks that you were messed around at the hospital, but at least you’re on the waiting list and I have everything crossed for you that it’s quick and that you can have it done keyhole.
    I’m rubbish at the doctors. I’m pretty sure that I’ve got low blood pressure and it’s causing me some problems. I’ve made an appointment at the doctors, but I know I’ll read high because I always get so nervous!

  5. Oh, I hate doctor appointments, too, and obviously this was a big one! So sorry that it wasn’t what you wanted to hear… I hope whatever you end up doing is effective and easy, and that your body will bounce back quickly. Keep us posted!

  6. Oh no! How frustrating but did they say there might still be a chance of the keyhole surgery? I bet you wish they’d just get on with it 🙁
    It’s a nightmare when you’re kept hanging around like that, not just for the appointment itself but so long for the op date – and hospital parking charges are scandalous… I have regular appointments for my blood condition and each time, I have to have a blood test the day before and it adds up… glad Andy’s there to make you feel better 🙂

  7. Hospital is always stressful 🙁 Just try to think ahead to when it’s all over and you can get on with your life, and start running again! 😉

  8. I absolutely know what you’re talking about when it comes to appointment anxiety. It’s even bad when I visit the dentist or my doctor, let alone throwing hospitals into the mix… I’ve also has a few hospital appointments lately. People say that the more you go the easier it will get but I haven’t really experienced that myself.

    One thing I will say though is that you shouldn’t worry about operations. I’ve had three now and they’ve all gone really well. The surgeons are so skilled and if they think that you might need open surgery then you should just go for it. It’s all for the greater good at the end of the day. A few months of proper healing and you’ll be lacing up those running shoes again 🙂

  9. Thanks for all your lovely comments 🙂 I am just going to look forward to a couple of months time when it will all be a memory 🙂
    I don’t mind the parking charges (well, if they were small) but pay and display is the worst because you never know how long you will be- by the end I was worrying that I would need to go and get another ticket because mine was running out. And yes there is a chance of keyhole, but the doctor I suppose did not want me to get my hopes up. It means recovery is longer I suppose but in the end I just want it out.

  10. Aww no, how frustrating that you’ve been waiting so long already. I do hope everything gets sorted out for you soon! I definately know what you mean about doctors appointments making you nervous, I avoid them like the plague cos I get so worked up, which probably isn’t the best way to deal with them!

  11. I can totally relate to doctor appointment stress. It’s always awful waiting for something which could be bad news and in an hospital environment. It’s just nerve-wracking. It’s great that you are on the waiting list now – I know it’s annoying to have to wait again though, but I guess we should just be thankful that it’s nothing so serious/threatening that they need you in surgery without delay. Parking charges are such a joke. My mum has just left working for the NHS but still spends most of her time in theatres and the charges are absolutely ridiculous.

  12. I hate the whole pay and display thing at hospitals too but when I had an appointment that was running very late the receptionist told me not to worry as she’d give me a letter to show the parking people if i got a fine. I was still worried but not as worried iyswim!!!
    They are very clever with keyhole surgery these days so don’t despair quite yet. They have to tell you the worst case scenario so that you are prepared but there is no reason why it shouldn’t all go very smoothly.
    Do you have any rescue remedy? You might find it really helpful to use before going in next time.
    Rosexx

  13. Jessica you are right- I am glad it is nothing really serious, just annoying.
    Rose- I used to have that rescue remedy before every doctors appointment, but then the taste of it started to remind me of feeling nervous- not sure if it worked anyway but after a while it made me feel worse! I think I need to learn to meditate or something! And you are right it is the likely scenario but not the only one so I can keep my fingers crossed for keyhole still.

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